Part 1
Why do babies and children wake up multiple times in the night? Especially when they’ve been sleeping well beforehand? I started to write this Blog and jotted down 4 reasons off the top of my head – but when I stopped and really thought about it…there’s 11 reasons why babies wake multiple times in the night!! No wonder it’s such a minefield!!! I have divided this Blog into two parts so it’s easier to read. So, let’s begin to discuss with you what those reasons are and how to fix them.
Why do babies wake multiple times in the night?
1. Being uncomfortable – This can be in the form of being too hot or too cold, or needing a nappy change for example. For some babies they will do their biggest poo at night! Arghhh! It is recommended that their room (or your room) is between 18C-20C degrees, this encourages sleep being in a cooler environment. Check that you have the right TOG number for the season, and that your baby is not overheating in their swaddle/sleeping bag. The way to check this is to put your hand under their onesie on their chest to feel their body temperature. It should feel warm and toastie, but not clammy (sweating). If it feels clammy, we need to take a layer of clothing off, or vice versa if their chest is not quite warm, add another layer of clothing. Babies will let you know if they are cold. Sleeping bags and swaddles are awesome for maintaining babies’ temperatures. You can even put them in legless onesies in winter knowing that their body temperature will be maintained if you’ve got a TOG of 3.5 (warmest). This is so reassuring at night, knowing that your baby can be moving around in the cot, having a disco 😊, but they’ll still be warm and covered. Don’t try and gauge their body temperature by touching their forehead (the head is where heat escapes, so it will always be warmer than the rest of their body), back of the neck (once again it will always be warmer) or feeling their hands and feet, as these are the last extremities to get blood flow and are always much cooler than the rest of their body. I have a lot of parents tell me “Their hands are freezing so I put another layer on and covered their hands with mittens”
Is your baby too hot? or too cold? or need a nappy change?
2. Hunger or thirst – As you know yourself, it’s so much harder to get to sleep if your tummy is growling. Babies have nutritional needs over 24 hours. If they sleep lots during the day and have minimal feeds, then they’ll be up overnight fulfilling their nutritional needs. So, it’s in your best interest to offer them feeds regularly during the day, say 2-3hrly and then let them demand feed overnight. It’s unrealistic to think that your baby will not need overnight feeding after a certain age. All babies until they are 1 years old may need a feed overnight! Give them a nice, relaxed, quiet, stress free feed as part of your bedtime routine prior to going down for the night. If you’re breastfeeding, always offer both sides at this feed. If your baby falls asleep at the end of this feed (breast or bottle) – it’s ok, just transfer them into their bassinet/cot, keeping your hand on them for comfort as you see them readjust and relax into their new surroundings (this may take 5-10 mins, be patient, it’s worth it!)
If it’s summer and hot, or your baby has been crying, they also might be thirsty when they wake. Have a non-spill Sippy cup near their bassinet/cot that you can offer them always in the first instance. Only have sterile water in this Sippy cup, and only offer water to babies older than 6 months. Younger babies get all the hydration they need from their milk, and we don’t want them filling up on water with no nutritional value when they could be having milk (formula or breast). When they get to 8 months old, you can leave the Sippy cup in their cot and teach them to find it when they wake, so that they can drink whenever they need without disturbing you.
Do they need a feed?
Maybe your baby is hungry?
3. Developmental Leap – This one is probably the biggest culprit for babies waking in the night! Babies go through developmental leaps multiple times through their first 1000 days of life. These are times of intense growth and maturation of their bodies and connections of motor neurons making them more intelligent or more skilful, they are ultimately PROGRESSIONS. During these times of growth, baby’s brains are working flat out 24/7 and not resting at all, even when the baby is tired and trying to sleep. It’s hard for their brains to “switch off”. Plus, every baby will experience these leaps differently, so one baby, for example will find the 6–8-week leap really difficult whereas the next baby will fly through it. Knowing they are going through a leap is reassuring though, knowing your child is normal and that you don’t have to stress about what’s happening. Research has shown that during these episodes of developmental leaps, babies feel unsure about what’s happening, they feel more insecure and need more reassurance from their Primary Caregiver. This behaviour is exhibited as being clingy, or crying more, not happy except when being held and the one appropriate for this blog – waking more overnight. I’ve had babies in the past waking every 45mins at night for 3 weeks until the leap had passed – you can imagine how exhausted the parents were! The main thing to remember is that the more connection and reassurance the babies get during these leaps, the quicker they will get through them and the more confident and relaxed they’ll be. Another example is an older baby waking at 3am and loudly chatting to themselves or singing away for a whole hour before going back to sleep or another child will be practicing standing up – it all depends what skill set they’re learning at the time. It’s ok, they don’t need your help to go back to sleep, and if they do, they’ll let you know. Parents often think they need to “help” their baby to go back to sleep but they will cry out for you if this is the case, so, just roll over and try to go to sleep yourself! Hahaha.
Solutions: If your baby is going through a leap, keep your bedtime routines the same, the same order is very important. This is because babies are creatures of habit, and they love routine. Now is not the time to be changing their bedtime routine. Unfortunately, this is often what we do as parents because we think that our routine is not “working” anymore, so we go try something else, and then something else again the following night and so on until we don’t know where we’re at! Having their regular routine makes the baby feel more confident knowing what’s coming up next and what is expected from them. The other tip at this point is to take longer at each step in your bedtime routine. Now knowing that their brains are constantly working, we need to give them time to try and dial down their brain allowing them to switch off and fall asleep. Instead of spending 2 minutes at each bedtime step, maybe take 5 minutes and then once you’ve put them in the cot/bassinet, sit by them holding their hand, or stroking their face or massaging their tummy until you feel them start to relax and then you can tell them that you love them very much and are leaving the room so they can fall asleep.
Is it a developmental leap and a progression of skills?
4. Age – the older the baby, the more likely they’ll be waking up during the night. Newborns have no concept of day and night, so they will sleep at any time when they’re tired (usually after a feed – very normal – remember though that this is often 2hrly feeds!) The moment the circadian rhythm starts to mature and kicks in (beginning around the 3rd month), the baby is aware of their surroundings and they get FOMO very quickly, and often need reassuring and possibly assistance going back to sleep.
5. Needing connections – Sometimes babies just need extra loving 😊 A baby’s natural environment is the mother’s body from her shoulders to her hips – this is where a baby belongs. Make sure you spend time with your baby here, especially doing skin to skin contact, which is beneficial right up until they’re 4 months old. Being held in this position is like connecting jigsaw pieces together, Mum and baby together and this in turn sets off positive hormones which encourages milk supply and feelings of security for the baby – win win!
Babies need connections with their Primary Caregiver
Now read on for Part 2 of Frequent Night Wakings….
